Email to Ryan #1

My ‘Happy oh so Happy Good Cancer’ Email Letter to Ryan

Hi Guy,

I have to tell you something and I don't want you to be alarmed or worry about me. I just think you would be mad if I didn't tell you. Remember when you used to yell 'I got the bay leaf'. (At least you knew better than to eat it.) Well, 'I got the good kind of breast cancer!' As in, if you have get one this is the best kind you can have. It is not malignant. It is localized. This means a lumpectomy rather than mastectomy and a short radiation treatment and no chemotherapy.

Everything is now happening at a really fast pace. Considering what we went through with Nana I am incredibly surprised at how quickly things are going. I had my regular, every two year, mammogram on May 25th. I got called back as a 'recall', I hate that term but it is what they use, for a second mammogram and an ultrasound on June 8th. I had a core mammogram biopsy last Thursday in Barrie. I got the results this morning and am already scheduled to meet with the surgeon/specialist in Barrie on Monday morning.

I am lucky in that it appears very contained and at a very early stage. I repeat, this is not malignant and is not the kind that spreads to other parts of the body hence no chemotherapy. While I will know everything for sure after my Monday consultation our GP said this morning that in cases like mine they are now fast tracked through everything. Unless the surgeon finds anything different, the radiation should be 7 days in a row - one hour or so a day that is mostly waiting - at Princess Margaret sometime after the lumpectomy and that's it! Not even one night's stay in the hospital.

I wasn't going to tell you as there is nothing you can do and I am fine and will continue to be fine but Denise, one of the few I have told, talked me into telling you. I haven't told Aunt Cathy yet. I have to think about it a bit more. (Truthfully, it's all still a bit weird.) But, I finally agreed with Denise that you would want to know. I also have some thought that you will have to read this right before something important in your day. However, no matter when I sent this I would have the same thought and I'll probably be right!

I want you to know that I do think that I am extremely lucky. I have a lot of things that most women in the world do not have. First and foremost I have you and Dave. You guys are my rocks and my rivers. Casey just walked into my office, so yes, I have him as well. (Weenie licking little ball of fur!) I also have an enormous number of wonderful friends up here. All I have to do is call any one of them with any kind of outrageous request and they would be here with bells on.

I love you and I know you love me. So many poor souls in the world don't have that kind of relationship with their kids. Dave adores me, or so my friends keep pointing out, and if anything, this scare has made our bond even stronger than I thought possible. You know the really strange thing about all this? I haven't told people, not because I'm shy or afraid, but because I know that the overwhelming support would make me walk around in tears all day.

What a problem to have, eh? (Know what? And you say??.... What?) I will look a this new episode as an opportunity to do many things. One is to quit smoking for good. I also had a strange thought earlier that there must be someone I have to meet through all this. The other stupidly inane thought was that I hope they don't do the surgery next week as our big party is next Saturday and I refuse to cancel it.

So, to end this missive I will go back to the beginning. You never ate the bay leaf which would have been harmful. And, I didn't get the cancer that kills. So there really is something to be happy about.

Love all of your bits that make you a whole,

Mum