Life Changing Lessons

Life Changing Lessons

Everyone tells you how going through cancer or any other type of life-altering situation makes you stronger, or makes you different, or makes you appreciate living on a whole other level.

I am changing. I can feel it. I have a new outlook on life that I will endeavor to nurture and practice when ever I have the opportunity. If someone tells me they have a disease or divorce (or both) I will not lend them a self help book. (Well, not at first maybe.) I will not offer them advice on strengthening their resolve or improving their attitude. I will not tell them to take vitamins or visit their chiropractor.

I will tell them to feel free to talk to me about how they truthfully are feeling. I will let them know to call me if they just want to vent and scream or swear at someone. I will make them understand that with me they are safe to stumble and tumble down whatever personal path they may be toddling or careening along.
I will try to let them know that they do not have to be anything but what they are at that moment; that there are no hard and fast rules on their behavior; that crying isn’t wrong; that they don’t have to measure up to anyone else’s standards; that they don’t even need standards.

Most importantly, I will not tell them about my journey or the journey’s of other’s that I know. I will not try to give them solace by comparisons as they are not me or anyone else. I can’t be in their mind or body.


So I have learned some life lessons already. I will hear people more fully and I will ensure that I am heard fully. If I need to rant or rave I will. If I need to scream to be heard I will scream. I will not try to meet other’s expectations of myself. I will be fully me embracing all my faults and weaknesses as part of who I am and not be afraid to show them.

I had learned these lessons before but I seem to have forgotten them. I will not forget them again.